the preacher says it's impossible
for a woman to please god and
fuck other women.	
an abomination.
but god
told me she was pleased after we finished. 

how could it be abominable when
god is 			as fem 
as the coarse curls peeping
through my panty lines 
relentless 
    			like the waters sicced on noah. 
and as the blood 
which seeps through
surprising 	           nobody but
the men it sheds for.

god is fem as the warmth of 
                        my mother’s hand
                        small and slightly calloused
healing my lower back with vicks vapor rub
and			her prayers.

fem as the first bite that felt familiar. lips
                                   sticky from the apple. 

god is as fem 
                        as mary’s womb
swollen
 			with the promise of 
hope
                       and some sort of	
                       peace planted
                       and replanted again
                       and again
                       after every storm
until it can no longer be ignored.

~~~

Anduriña is a queer Panamanian poet and singer based in Newark, NJ. She graduated with honors from the creative writing program at Adelphi University, where she received the Donald Everett Axinn Awards for Poetry and Fiction. Her work explores grief, loss, intimacy and the spirituality that has permeated her life since childhood. She lives with her mom and plants.