You hear them before you see them. The ominous sound of “Party Rock Anthem” fills the air, followed by the haunting scent of Axe body spray. The midday sun scorches through the window and drops of sweat crawl down your face. It’s too late to run. They screech into the parking lot and take the spot up front labeled, “No Parking.” Having narrowed in on their prey, the consequences are of no concern to them anymore. They live by the motto, “You Only Live Once.”

Limbs pile out of the souped-up Jeep Wrangler. The lanky teens keep coming, flooding the parking lot one after another. The door of the poor, helpless McDonalds flies open with the savage anticipation of an ax-laden Jack Torrance. 

You try to get up from the corner booth before the terror begins, but an unsupervised toddler suffers a shocking fall off the second floor of the germ pit, sparking an utter panic through the restaurant. Mothers scream, children wail, the menacing group of teens lurk in the entryway.

You take a bite of your greasy burger, but trepidation has turned it into a slimy, putrid addition to the bitter scene. Their guttural laughs add to the chorus of horror-filled voices echoing through the establishment. The leader of the crew flips his flowy hair and creeps towards the girl behind the counter. His unearned confidence doesn’t waver despite her eye roll when he calls her McBeautiful. 

They continue to wreak havoc as they order one hundred chicken nuggets, kid’s meals with just the toys, and hamburgers mixed into milkshakes. Next, they terrorize the condiment stand and soda fountain. Mixing the two, making foul concoctions. They leave their mark on every crevasse of the joint. Taking over the germ pit, standing on the tables, until finally, they make their exit. The Jeep jumps a curb, narrowly avoiding a family walking in, before continuing its conquest of the suburban landscape ahead.

The peace of a better time returns. The children play with contented glee, the parents continue their mundane chatter, and you can finally enjoy the rich taste of your juicy burger and crispy fries. All is right in the world again.

Grace Alamo is a writer currently living in Miami, Florida with her husband and their dog. Her small-town Texas roots often influence her writing. Grace is completing her Master’s in English at the University of West Florida.