the museum of americana

a literary review

FAQ’s for Moby Dick’s Whale Watching Adventure Tour!—Fiction by Sally Miller

Moby Dick Whale Watching Tours welcomes you to The Pequod, a vessel locally owned and operated by Nantucket’s very own Captain Ahab. We promise you the most authentic whale watching excursion on the eastern seaboard, where our motto is, “From Hell’s heart, I stab at thee! For hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at thee!”  

Check out our FAQs!

Who will be our guide?

The Pequod’s guide asks that you call him Ishmael! You will be greeted with a long preamble before leaving the port. Like, really long. 

What should I bring?

Sunscreen, sense of adventure, and a bucket for whale blubber. 

How early should I arrive to check in before the trip?

We recommend you join us 15 minutes prior to boarding at Spouter Inn where you will meet salty crew members and weathered whalers. Before boarding the vessel be sure to hand your tickets to always cheerful Queequeg, the tattooed cannibal! 

What else might I see on a tour?

Vast azure ocean, seals sunbathing on buoys, and our one legged Captain shaking his harpoon and cursing the sea. 

Do you sell food and/or beverages?

Rum is available for purchase. Do NOT ask shipmate Starbuck for a coffee. He no longer finds humor in the joke.

What is included?

A six-hour voyage led by a captain hellbent on vengeance, a battle where all on board risk their lives, and a 50% off coupon for your next visit. 

Are we guaranteed to see whales?

While we can’t guarantee a whale sighting every trip, our Captain’s promise is that he will “Chase him round perdition’s flames before I give him up. And this is what ye have shipped for, men! To chase that white whale on both sides of land, and over all sides of earth, till he spouts black blood and rolls fin out.” 

That sounds more like one man’s insatiable desire for revenge on one very specific white whale.

Yes.

What kind of whales have been sighted recently?

On a previous voyage, Ahab and crew saw a mighty leviathan, behemoth, an albino whale like no other! It was also the voyage where two deck hands, a honeymooning couple from Indiana, and the Captain’s leg were lost at sea. 

How close do we get to the whales?

Close enough to harpoon them until their giant tail fins flip over the boat plunging all aboard into the deep abyss. Also close enough to get a photo of you and the whale printed on a mug for long lasting memories. Grab yours at the gift shop for $75 (if you come back alive).  

My family just sort of wants to see humpback whales. Is this an *actual* trip or really just a metaphor about how unrelenting vengeance will ultimately kill you? 

A metaphor. 

If I don’t want to join one man’s quest against a whale that seems doomed for failure, can I get my money back?

All tickets are non-refundable. However, we welcome you to enjoy something from our gift shop including harpoon keychains, dolphin magnets, and peg legs carved from the collarbones of humpbacks. 

Is the boat safe?

The Pequod comes equipped with coffins handmade by your friendly cannibal, Queequeg, who believes in omens and has created one just in case, you know, the whale that stole Ahab’s leg sinks the boat. Get your coffin monogrammed for an extra $35!

We hope you enjoy your voyage! Don’t forget to visit our sister attraction, The Old Man and the Sea Fishing Charters. 

 

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Sally Miller is a Los Angeles based writer. She lives with her husband, two children, and a huge Lab mix who refuses to pick up after himself. You can read her work on McSweeney’s, The Belladonna Comedy, The Rumpus, and more.